Yesterday we went to Paul's neice Jessica's First Holy Communion, and afterwards went over for food and gift opening. This was the first time I had seen Paul's extended family and friends since the wedding, and 90% of them asked either Paul or myself when we were going to have a baby.
When we were dating, it was "When are you getting married?" For years I answered with a polite smile, and a "soon" or "ask Paul". We are not even 3 months into our marriage and they are already asking. And again, I answer "soon" or "ask Paul". Of course, asking Paul is different than asking me. I say soon, Paul says not soon enough.
Many people are of differing opinions on the matter of how soon to have children after you get married, or planning it all out to a tea. Here is a list of opinions we got on the matter yesterday:
"Enjoy being married for a while first" - said every man in the room.
"Plan it so you're off for two summers" - says the woman who doesn't work.
"Do it before you're 30" - says the woman who had a baby at 20.
"Wait. Wait. Wait." Says the woman who got knocked up 3 months before the wedding.
"You're not ready" - Says the man with 4 children whose hair has fallen out since the second one was born
"You already have a child" - I'm assuming they meant Paul, but Paul thought they meant Patch.
My opinion on the matter, is I'm not strssing myself out planning on the exact perfect time to start trying, or planning it around when to expect the baby. I don't want to take my temperature, read any charts or make the "process" clinical (unless I have to) when it's supposed to be sweet and lovely.
I guess I'll stick with soon for the time being.
5 comments:
When are you getting married?
When are you having a baby?
When are you having another baby?
What's next - when do you plan on dying?
Let me guess, Stephen said to do it NOW because it's the greatest thing that ever happened to him?
When the time comes (and given our genes I don't see any charting in your future) whether it be "soon" or "not so soon" it will be great.
From your "single-come party with me-cousin"
I think you know when you want to. And we both know Paul will have a hard time even waiting the nine months, so he just needs to get some patience!!
All I know is Newfoundland just wont be the same if you're knocked up! I know you don't want to plan, but I think timing is everything.
Love Joanne.P
I think soon is the best answer too. The good Lord above will bless you when the time comes and it will be the greatest thrill of your life as you were mine.
Mom
Mom
Lots of times while reading yours and Jen's blogs, I fill up at bit at the absolute beauty of the writing or the silliness of the writing. I have to tell you that your mom's response to this particular entry just about undid me and I'm reading it at work. Andrea, let me tell you that the saying "you should never put off for tomorrow what you can do today" is a popular belief for a reason. You never know what obstacle may present itself right at the time you decide you'd like to have a baby. While you are healthy and able you may decide to wait. Then when the time seems right you may find that something has altered your system and you can no longer become pregant the "normal" way. You may think this is okay because with today's technology having a baby is still relatively easy - maybe a bit more stressful in that you have to have mechanical sex and keep a chart and all but there may come a day when you just have to realize that becoming pregnant with your own child is no longer viable. It is then that you will wish you, like Adam Sandler, have the ablity to "click".
I write this with every ounce of love I have in me for you. It is certainly not meant to criticize your choice or scare you into making a choice you are not ready for. It's just one of those things I felt I needed to express to you. Hope you read it in the same vein it is meant.
Love,
Aunt Maureen
I just found your blog now...obviously cuz I'm an idiot! Sorry, so, I am playing catch up. Definitely not being an expert on planning (haha) I feel it necessary to comment here. Although I may not have planned to have my kids so soon after meeting the man of my dreams(I say this with a grain of salt!) I loved that I had them when I did and they will be old enough to babysit your kids and be the cool older cousins! When it happens it happens and it will be GREAT!
Love you
Lori
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